OK, I know you’re out there.  You’ve sent me your stories before and I’m looking through thousands of them.  I have heard stories from survivors all over the country who were denied insurance because of their abuse.  Some were considered suicide and chronic health problem risks.  Some were denied house insurance because they were victims of domestic violence and considered risks.  I have an opportunity to put a spotlight on this issue and in turn put an even bigger spotlight on the fact that child sexual abuse and violence is an epidemic that can no longer be ignored.  Please contact me privately via email with your stories ASAP and let me know if you are willing to be interviewed.  Contact me personally at info@angelashelton.com if you have any issues with insurance companies.  Don’t put it in the comments.  I have some of your contact info but there are more of you out there.  Email me!  Or call the office 310-356-6808.

Here I am on this beautiful cruise in Alaska that is bitter sweet due to the fact that the glaciers are going bye bye (sell your car and get a hybrid and see Inconvenient Truth).  There is no vacation for the Wounded Healer.  I meet survivors everywhere I go and there’s no way I’m going to say, “hey, I’m on vacation, sorry about your dad raping your but I need a martini…”

So on this huge ship I met another cutter.  They are everywhere.  I am honored to know hundreds of you who have stopped mutilating for good.  Thank you for that.  This woman shared with me some information that many of you may find useful.  She said during the transition of moving from cutter to non-cutter when you are overcome with the need to mutilate, hold onto two frozen cans of juice in each hand.  The feeling of the ice is very similar to the pain wanted and certainly better than cutting.  Another technique is to use red markers on your skin instead of a knife or glass or whatever other cutting device you have.  Mark yourself up with a red marker instead.  She is now no longer a cutter.  She said it took her a long time.  I shared with her the sword dance too and she laughed and said she’d try it.

More later.  I’ll share pictures of Alaska too.

I went to a yoga retreat workshop on working with your intuition and moving past trauma.  I went with some of the women who meet at my house twice a month for our Circle.

This is what we learned. Feel free to take what you will and ignore what you don’t get or think is bizarre. I’ll go back and film it when I get back from Alaska and we start that new project… ah.. deep breath…

First of all the guru blew all of our “delicate female minds” as some rich white men have put it by telling us that as females we are mighty powerful and take on and in everything around us.  We are recepticles but not in a bad way, only if you allow yourself to be a dumpster.  She explained how she was taught by her teacher in India that the woman is a powerful energy giver (duh) and we take in energy, we move it around ourselves, clean it, wash it, give it our energy and then send it back to the Universe.  Kind of like a cosmic washing machine.  (that’s why if you’re spinning in trauma, the energy you’re taking in and giving out can be heavy and harsh in huge ways) She said that we are so powerful with our energy, that even when we make love to a man, we hold that man in our energy field for 7 years. wtf.  And then that man or men can feed off of our energy for those seven years and do it subconcsiously without even knowing it but we will feel the effects by being tired, not quite ourselves, drained etc.  Say wha?  I was like, “can you repeat that?”   What about the survivors who were raped repeatedly, who have men all around them?  What about those few late nights?  What about the one who never called back?  Ah, say wha? Is there a way to clean that machine of ours and the circle that surrounds it?

Why yes there is!  No way, do tell.  OK, get ready for this.  She gave us two techniques for clearing that are downright funny and who knows if they work or if we’re all “crazy witches” but that breathing technique I learned sure works so here goes.

Sit or stand (and you can go hide in the bathroom and do this if you need some space) and place your hands up next to your ears almost like you’re going to yell, “I can’t take this anymore!” and cover your ears.  Then you move your hands back and forth like you’re chopping at the air. I laughed because it looks so much like that scene in “Team America” when Gary does the “Sign of Distress”  Ahhhhh…   LMAO.   So anyway, move your hands back and forth like Gary and breathe.  Do that for as long as you can.  It’s like a big “wash that man outta my hair” move.  It looks funny and feels funny too.  The guru told us that it was energitically chopping away at any old belief patterns that were hanging on around our heads, any negative thoughts from others, projections, bad mojo etc.  Wash it out and breath while you’re doing it.  And laugh, go ahead and laugh as you clear your head - really.  Ha!

Then she told us about the swords.  I heard that word and perked up, not that I wasn’t already perked with my ‘brainwashing’ (which is another technique she gave about literally washing out your brain, that was wild and I’ll share that later)  Anyway, when I asked her how you get the men out if it hasn’t been 7 years and someone’s still feeding on you.  Yikes!  How do you cut that cord?  She said you get out your swords.  I got all giddy and excited.

What an amazing way to use your sword - once you have removed it from your body and have it in your hand.  That metaphor works so well and so many have really liked that.  But what do you do once you have it? Well, you chop out old patterns!  She said that you stand up, feet wide, and hold two swords in your hand. (imaginary, although if you have knives or swords or an actual sword it may be good to do a sword dance when you’re home alone so no one thinks your completely bonkers.  This could be a good thing for you cutters to shift the ritual of cutting yourself, to cutting away the ties that bind instead. Hmmm….)

So you stand up with your imaginary or real swords in both hands and make quick long sweeping cuts in front of you just like your literally cutting away ties that bind.  One hand after another.  Chop, chop.  If your sword is imaginary, flatten your palm like a blade and chop chop.  One arm after another.  Breathe as you do it.  You can get really creative too and slice away around you, making your sword move into a dance.  Picture whatever you have been holding energetically and cut it away.  This is for all binds, not just men in a sexual way, but relationships, old belief patterns, friendships, anything that you have taken in that could be feeding off of you, even you against yourself.  Cut the binds away instead of cutting yourself.  Powerful.

Now this does not mean it’s bad to be powerful and uplifting and supportive of the loves we have or have had.   This is about realizing and owning your own power and protecting it.  And it sure makes you look at running out and fulfilling that old sex and love addiction by sleeping with just anyone doesn’t it? I see you, you know who you are.  Think about that one!  7 years my friend, 7 years.  Of course I can already hear, “But I can just clean him out with my sword dance.”   Oh jeez…