I love Frontline!  If you didn’t see this show, you can watch it online. Another reason to get rid of your TV!

Watch this show online about kids who kill.  Very interesting that the back story is child sexual abuse!  Doesn’t surprise me one bit.  Just like with the Virginia Tech killings, horrors like this will continue until we all open our eyes to the reason behind it.  Those kids weren’t “little monsters;” they were rape victims.  On only a few occasions was sexual abuse even referred to in the Cho case, and then dismissed, because it didn’t matter because he was obviously “a psychopath.”
This society has such a hard time believing that these kinds of horrors go on.  There are cases around the country where I would not be surprised in the least if the kids simply took matters into their own hands and ran away, or put a bullet into the heads of the real monster, because they are not believed, protected, and seem to have no way out of “the perfect American family” where perfect dad is raping, beating, torturing and victimizing everyone in the house and laughing about it.  But then the victim would be labeled the monster, the criminal etc, when in reality we are the criminals who let this kind of violence continue right under our noses, right in front of us, in our churches, our homes and our government - when we all sit with eyes wide and mouths agape at how anyone could say anything against “our Father.”   That is the reason for all of the denial - the protection and awe of “daddy.”
In many of the cases I’ve heard about where the children are tortured inside their homes, prison would be a better place.  And no, that doesn’t mean that I am condoning that they kill; I am saying we’d better all wake up and open our eyes to see that daddy and our father is not as perfect as “he” seems.  As long as our society can’t believe that “daddy” rapes kids, then we will continue to have to pay for it.

Don’t Rape Children. They Will Grow Up and Kill.  (themselves or others)

How many times I have heard from you that you are paralyzed in fear and shame, let me count…  You are too precious to feel shame.  What was done to you was abuse.  You did not ask for it, even if it felt good.  Our bodies respond, it is not your fault and you are not disgusting or unlovable or dirty.  You are a human and you deserve to live a joyful life!
Watch this video again http://blip.tv/file/220444/ and work on the pathways in your brain.  Replace those of shame with those of joy and fun!
Here’s a quote from the poet Hafiz:

We have not come here to take prisoners,
but to surrender ever more deeply to freedom and joy…
Run my dear
from anything
that may not strengthen
Your precious budding wings

For we have not come here to take prisoners
Or to confine our wondrous spirits
But to experience ever and ever more deeply
Our divine courage, freedom and Light!

What in the world do you do when faced with that holy mother f-ing sh– moment?
I just experienced 2 triggers back to back.  One was something minor.  It was a toaster trigger. I talk about it in the video below.  The other one was a whole lot bigger.  My entire computer and its contents went bye bye as in gone, no more, not there, see ya, erased.  The difference is that I reacted completely differently than I would have prior to all of this trauma work.

Here’s a video - http://blip.tv/file/250344 

I was going to shoot more this weekend but my lovely camerwoman Abby got a big job on a new show - yay!  Then I lost the software to upload it anyway, so what are you going to do?  You’re going to take a deep breath and hold the reins of that wild horse and keep moving forward.

Lots of exciting things are coming.  I’m thinking about you.  Keep focused on the good stuff because it is there.